Saturday, November 2, 2013

Guest Note: David

So my friend David Justin took up the challenge to pen his own sick note.  I liked it so I am sharing it here.

Dear ______, 

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice several days in our bedroom for whatever it was we were sick from, but we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out, while we were throwing up and vomiting and having flu like symptoms, is that each of us is: 
A Brain… 
And an Athlete… 
And a Baket case… 
A princess…. 
A sick child… 
And a criminal… 

Does that answer your question? 

Sincerely yours, 
The Breakfast Club (Your Signature Here)

Anyone else wanna give it a go?


October 23, 2013

Since this one was so close to Halloween, I had to do something along that theme.  I contemplated zombies, but nothing came together.  I finally started thinking about Poe and decided I could adapt the Raven.  I followed his rhyming style closely.  All the lines but the first and third should have rhymed with "more."  I just made sure they rhymed each other.  Yeah, I'm sure he's spinning in his grave, too. 


September 6, 2013

This one took longer to write than any other sick note.  Once I had the idea, it flowed pretty well, but I worked like crazy to come up with all the crazy metaphors and get them to fit the overall theme.  I also find it interesting that the formatting is changing and moving farther and farther from looking like a letter to the teacher.  I am having to mention it being a sick note in the story to give them even a hint.

I am curious if everyone else hears the cheesy Sam Spade noir accent in their head as they read this.  I sure did as I wrote it...

Friday, November 1, 2013


February 26, 2013

A lot of people didn't get this one or just didn't like it.  It cracked me up, and usually that's all I'm going for, since I am my own worst critic.  I did have a lot of fun saying the phrases over and over again trying to parse out similar sounding words.  It helps if you read it out loud.

DJ Daddy Def

February 19, 2013 (yes, the date on the letter has the wrong year, sue me)

This note generated more comments on Facebook than any note before or since.  I had a lot of fun writing it once I had the idea.  The only problem I have with it is that the song got stuck in my head for a solid week.  I always wonder if the kids will read this when they are older and if they will get any of the jokes or references. 

Big Meany

February 6, 2012

Occasionally when the kids stay home sick, they get better pretty quick.  But, I can't let them just do what they want, or they will take advantage of me and I will be writing sick notes every week.  So, unless there is an ongoing fever or I can tell they are very sick, I will make them read and nap.  They will get no computer time and little play time.  This is universally a very unpopular stance and has more than once caused my "Dad of the Year" nomination to be revoked....


November 7, 2012

This note was fun just to see how many references I could come up with that were recognizable.  Also, I like the wordplay with literately, especially since Sophie went through a brief phase where she literally used the word "literally" in almost every conversation.  I must have gotten through to her, though, since now she will say if she is using it properly or just exaggerating...

We interrupt your regularly scheduled sick note...

Mother's Day 2012

This isn't a sick note.  This is the picture frame I put together for my wife for Mother's Day.  But I like it a lot, so I'm going to post it.  So there.  I blame the kids....

Disney Blues

April 18, 2012

I gotta say, when I said I was hoping the kids would move on from shows like Spongebob, I certainly did not mean for them to start watching iCarly and some of the awful Disney shows that make cheesy 80's era sitcoms seem positively cerebral.  They are horribly painful to watch, but at least I am able to steal ideas from them.


Also, the idea of my sweet girl being an iron-fisted despot cracks me up every time.