Since the sick notes thing has taken off, I have had to get more creative. This usually means starting the note the night before to get it to where I like it. 10 minutes before the kids needed to leave for the bus this morning, I realized I had not written a sick note. And since I had forgotten to call his absence in, there was no way around it. So it's much closer to my earlier notes, but it made me laugh.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
The kids have been healthy during the week, so this is actually the first sick note to go to the middle school. I figured I would go easy on them until they get accustomed to "that weird dad."
Padre Loco Media Consultants
For immediate press release (March 16, 2017):
This last week (3/13-3/15) fever-hot star Sophia Hawkins (“She’s a perfect 102.9!” -Fahrenheit) has been home ill. We firmly deny all rumors to the contrary, including: candy rehab, Girl Scout Mafia takeover and “was left behind at Wolf Ridge”. We especially want to deny the following rumors: kitten juggling, unicorn hunting and dog teasing. Sophia is and always has been a firm animal advocate*.
We would like to redirect all media attention to her upcoming performances. Sophia will be a Master Saxophonist at the upcoming JMS Arts Extravaganza and Danceline Girl at the Bauer Spring Recital. She will also be playing a key role** in the upcoming Star Wars movie. Watch for many more appearances by this breakout star!
Media Stylist, parent, manager, personal chef
*Except, perhaps, those that produce bacon, beef or nuggets
**Probably theater goer, but after 1100 emails, we are sure they will respond very, very soon.